With, For, In Love

I was driving a white mini van pointing at the vineyards acting like a 5 year old seeing a new toy for the first time. I became extremely excited about the little town of Sonoma and how precious each building was. The town looks like the beginning of Magic Kingdom and I was just so happy to be there. I apologized to my coworker who was riding shot gun and he laughed and said we should all get this excited over things. From the terrifying top A year or so ago I was flying over mountains when I looked down and saw how beautiful they were. I remember thinking how does a plane actually work, how am I here right now, and how did I get to be so lucky? I decided from that moment on I would find something that was AWEsome everyday. As I see it, if you're not struck by your life everyday then something needs to change. I also got excited over jelly beans This weekend I was in Lake Tahoe with my Family 2 (the name they've assigned to themselves). I had heard about

More. More. More. That's been my mindset on life for the past 5 years or so. I want more. Why do I want more? Well, because I can have it. When planning my summer I had no idea what it would hold for me. I wanted an internship which I was not accepted to. Then the next day I received an email saying another company would love to have me! I didn't have a place to stay or transportation. Don't worry, that was soon taken care of too. I'm staying with the sweetest family in the world in this huge house. Everyday I wake up and can't believe it's real. I attribute all of this to God and His gigantic blessings in my life. But I also attribute it to asking for more. Because why not. 6 am sunrise As I've been telling my story to people lately I see how grandiose it sounds but I never thought of it that way. People who are going to Europe every other year think my life is cool. (Excuse me?) I've been told I have the travel bug. While that may be true, t

I hate blood. I hate needles. I especially hate doctors. But I had decided I wanted to have my blood tested so I could compare my vitals after being vegan for 1 year. That morning, May 19th, my mom held my hand at 9:00 am as the nurse took my blood. By 12:30 pm I was holding my mom's hand. By 7:30 pm my mom was holding my grandmother's hand. By 9:30 pm my sister was holding my hand. By 12:00 am I was holding my sister's hand. After my blood was taken my mom and I went to the Swamp Rabbit Cafe and went shopping. It was a lovely day and it took her mind off of her mother's simple heart procedure that morning. After my mom and I returned home she got a call from a nurse. "Do you have any siblings you should call?" That told us everything we needed to know: my grandmother was dying. At 7:00 am my mom talked to my grandmother before her heart procedure and told her she would talk to her in a few hours. I never talked to my grandmother that morning. By 7:30 am

I just reread my first blog post from before I came to Rome. First off, thank you to everyone who has followed this blog, sent an encouraging message, and shared my "insights"; I really do appreciate it. I've been dreading this post since before I came because I knew it meant the end. Not the end of the blog but rather the end of Rome. I said I wanted to conquer my fears while I was here. Now, I'm terrified of returning back home. I suppose that is just another fear I have to conquer too. For my last post I wanted to share things I've learned about Rome, studying abroad, and myself. I hope it helps someone in the future to travel better or live better. When packing for a spring study abroad, pack sweaters, lots of them, and in dark colors. Don't ever buy a bus ticket in Rome. Actually, only buy one and keep it in your wallet in case you ever get checked. Don't get Hola! when you come abroad because you'll just waste time watching TV. ALWAYS l

How could they not tell me? The dozens of people I talked to before coming abroad about their experiences and no one said it. Maybe they didn't want to deter me. Maybe it wasn't the case for some people. Maybe it was just too sad to relive. No one told me leaving would suck this much. No one told me I'd fall this in love. No one told me I'd be this distraught. No one told me my heart would be in Rome. The tree I sit under to journal When I flew over here I remember sitting in my seat and looking out the window and thinking, "I guess I'm really doing it. Hope it all turns out okay!" I was terrified of basically everything and couldn't even believe that I had agreed and wanted to do this. Coming over I was scared. I mean who puts themselves on a plane to a different country where they know no one, don't speak the language, and are incapable of reading a map so good thing they have no cell data?! I guess I did. And it was the craziest and bes

I sat awake at 6 am unable to go to sleep. I was crushed, sad, and so confused. But more than that, I felt like I didn't know who I was. Being away from everything that makes you you is really difficult. In Italy I don't have my friends, my family, my job, my normal activities, or even my city (shoutout to Cola). They're all waiting for me when I return but for four months I have had to figure out who I am apart from those things. That has not been easy. The time I ate 2 lbs. of strawberries in 2 hours I remember one night at USC talking to my friend outside of my apartment building and I was sharing all of the things I didn't like about myself. In that moment I realized one of the scariest things in life is to not like who you are because you are sort of stuck with yourself...for forever. That night I was placing my identity in my negative traits and characteristics instead of in the positive. Ever since that moment I've been working to not only change t

My dad would always say everyone has a story. He told me that you never truly know what is happening with a person at any given moment. I will admit whole heartedly I never understood this concept and instead of listening and attempting to comprehend the stories, I would listen and "judge". I've been called a "judgmental person" more times than I can count. It stems from my religious beliefs and my understanding in an absolute truth that doesn't depend on the fickleness of humanity. I was always discouraged by being called judgmental and never wanted people to view me as that nor did I actually want to be that. However, these past few months I think my judgment has began to morph into a virtue: compassion. Best 20th Birthday ever This past week I was on spring break (aka the best week of my life!). I was fortunate enough to spend it with some of my brothers and close friends. It wasn't your typical crew together but that's what made it so

I realize the irony in this blog title. If it wasn't for school I would not be traveling like I am. But just keep reading.  There are 168 hours in a week. I spend 12.5 hours in a classroom. That is 7% of my week. 93% of my week is spent doing other things.And yet I am labeled as a student. That seems odd to be a student when my life is so much more. But if I must be a student, I've found that the student I want to be is not one of the classroom but one of the world. Just being casual in front of the Eiffel This weekend I was in Paris, a place I never realistically thought I would ever be. Yet there I was, walking under the Eiffel Tower, eating macaroons, and praying in Notre Dame. My favorite part of the trip besides the crepes was The Louvre. I didn't really know what it was before planning Paris but it is one of the largest and most extensive art museums in the world. It contains the Mona Lisa, Michelangelo statues and paintings, and other ridiculously famous w

I was walking my parents to Piazza de Santa Maria and of course I got lost on the tiny Roman streets. I popped into a store and asked which way to go. When I walked out my mom said, "I'm so proud of you! You would never have done that before." And she was right. I'm very different now. But I blame it on Italy. I came to Italy for one main reason: I didn't want to go on living life afraid. I was ready to get over my fears and not hold back in life because I was scared. What I soon realized upon my arrival was that I would HAVE to get over my fears if I wanted to live here. There weren't many options. Below are some of my top fears I have conquered. Sims made for the best week ever 1. Public Transportation My biggest fear when coming here was the bus. I knew I would have to ride it to school but I had never ridden a bus before besides the one in the airport. How does it work? Where do I get off? Do I buy a ticket? The first day I slept, ate, and my

I remember sitting at my high school lunch table with my best friend Clarissa. I looked around at all of our classmates and everyone seemed to have a friend group. Clarissa and I had each other. That seems to have always been how I did friendship: never in a group, always with individuals. First friend My first friends here were these two girls who I asked to sit with in the cafeteria. From that moment on, we hung out and traveled together. I then met one of my closest friends here on the bus back from Ostia Antica where we laughed the whole time and bonded instantly. That same day I had the best lunch due to fantastic company. My two friends and I sat at a table of all guys. By the end of lunch we were crying laughing and having the greatest time. I knew I wouldn't be lonely here. Florence from the Bell Tower I live with a host family about 3 miles from my university. Although that isn't far, public transportation makes it about 30 minutes away. Unfortun

Everyday on the way to school I pass a pyramid. At first I thought it was some replica just stuck in the middle of the street. Upon further research, I discovered it was actually a gift to Rome from Egypt. The pyramid became much cooler to me after learning that! 2004 Olympics were held in this stadium This weekend I went to Athens, Greece and I absolutely loved it. There's a whole host of reasons why I would move there tomorrow but one of the most amazing things about it are the ruins. Rome has fantastic ruins as well but the ones in Greece are mostly pagan and therefore have another layer of history I barely know about but am fascinated with. The ruins were gorgeous and I could have looked and walked around them for hours. As I was walking on the Acropolis where the Parthenon is, I began to wonder... View from the top If this is what they left behind, what would we leave behind? Athens at one point was one of the most important places in the world. Arguably, Amer

I'm not one to brag, BUT I've gotten pretty good at packing in a book bag. It's kind of a weekend hobby really. Usually I would only use my backpack for books but in Italy it is also my suitcase. I lay out my clothes the night before and then in the morning I grab my toiletries, chargers and begin rolling and stuffing. I may knock a few people over in the bus with the size of my bag but hey I fit it in one bag so I think they can get over it. Civita di Bagnoregio Traveling these last few weekends out of a backpack has made me realize how little I truly need. I've known how little people can survive on for a long time. Whether I saw people in New Orleans living on the street or an entire family in Mexico under a metal scrap and wood beams, it was always clear people did not need much to survive. Wine store in Orvieto The thought of living with less was never very appealing (have you seen my closet or my boxes of shoes?) I knew I could live without many t

I was in a cemetery which is an odd place to be when visiting another city. But this wasn't an ordinary cemetery. It was called a statue garden where each grave had some form of a statue on it. No one famous is buried there but the statues are what makes the gigantic cemetery worth seeing. One of the thousands of statues really struck me. It's the statue pictured below. What drew my attention was that the wife lived for ten years after her husband died. I just imagined what her life would be like after that loss and how agonizing that time apart must have been. Grave in Milan Everyone knows Italians are loud and passionate. But what you discover here is that they are passionate about each other. Their relationships appear to be more intense, in the best way possible. They're very unapologetic about their affection. They kiss you on the cheek when they know you. They stroll down the cobblestone street with linked arms. People are even sitting on each other's lap