How could they not tell me? The dozens of people I talked to before coming abroad about their experiences and no one said it. Maybe they didn't want to deter me. Maybe it wasn't the case for some people. Maybe it was just too sad to relive. No one told me leaving would suck this much. No one told me I'd fall this in love. No one told me I'd be this distraught. No one told me my heart would be in Rome.
The tree I sit under to journal
When I flew over here I remember sitting in my seat and looking out the window and thinking, "I guess I'm really doing it. Hope it all turns out okay!" I was terrified of basically everything and couldn't even believe that I had agreed and wanted to do this. Coming over I was scared. I mean who puts themselves on a plane to a different country where they know no one, don't speak the language, and are incapable of reading a map so good thing they have no cell data?! I guess I did. And it was the craziest and best decision of my life.
Roma
It's no secret how in love with Rome I am. I feel like it is my home, a place my heart will always be. The people are so welcoming. The culture is so rich. The food is so delicious (and cheap!). The history is so deep. I've always wanted to live in a big city but thought I would never have the chance and yet here I am. I live in one of the most important cities on earth as it was the center of the world for a quite a long time. My love for history, art, beauty, and exploration fused perfectly with the beautiful gifts Rome offers to its people.
I have 14 days left. 14. Saying that number causes me agony. I am excited to see my friends and family when I return. I am not excited to come back to America. I am not excited to go back to a place without parks, thousand year old buildings, and pubic transportation. I am not excited to leave my host family until maybe forever. I am not excited to leave my home.
When I think of leaving I become angry. I know that might seem odd but I don't process leaving places I love with sadness but rather with anger that I can no longer be where I long to be. I said I wanted to make Rome my new home and leave crying because of how sad I was. I fear that I did that too well.
Guarding the castel
I knew when I decided to study abroad that there was an expiration date on it. I would have to return back to South Carolina at some point. I just never thought this experience would be what it was. I'm different now. I change everyday over here because I have to. I travel weekly because I'm right beside other countries. I stuff my face with all the pizza and gelato I can because it's normal and tastes so good.
I mean this pizza is unreal
I suppose I just had hope when I came over here. Hope that I'd be changed, fall in love, and have fantastic memories. I'll be leaving with that hope fulfilled. No one told me it'd be like this. No one told me my trip would be woven into the fabric of my soul.
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