Italy Made Me Do It | Rome

I was walking my parents to Piazza de Santa Maria and of course I got lost on the tiny Roman streets. I popped into a store and asked which way to go. When I walked out my mom said, "I'm so proud of you! You would never have done that before." And she was right. I'm very different now. But I blame it on Italy.

I came to Italy for one main reason: I didn't want to go on living life afraid. I was ready to get over my fears and not hold back in life because I was scared. What I soon realized upon my arrival was that I would HAVE to get over my fears if I wanted to live here. There weren't many options. Below are some of my top fears I have conquered.

Sims made for the best week ever

1. Public Transportation
My biggest fear when coming here was the bus. I knew I would have to ride it to school but I had never ridden a bus before besides the one in the airport. How does it work? Where do I get off? Do I buy a ticket?
The first day I slept, ate, and my host mom showed me how to use the bus. I was terrified. Then came the metro (horrifying the first time). The tram. And the train. I had to learn because I had to get around. It's safe to say I'm adept at using all forms of transportation now.

2. Asking Directions/Getting Lost
I hate asking strangers questions. I get all nervous and my voice becomes high pitched. I will walk around a store for 30 minutes looking for one item before I ask for help. That's changed.
I now ask for directions three times on the way to The Pantheon just to be sure I'm going the right way. If I didn't, I would be lost forever. With that begin said, I have gotten over my fear of being lost. I actually find great joy in it now. I was lost in Naples and I loved walking around the tiny Italian streets and knew at any point I could ask for directions and be on the right path again. Being lost allows you to explore the road less traveled.

 

Getting lost has its perks

3. Being Alone

I've had an aversion to being alone most of my life. I love people, talking, and just being with others. Last year I would get home from a full day of seeing people and then be alone for five minutes and go up to my friend's room because I didn't like that feeling. Now, I live with a host family where I'm alone a lot. I've found peace in turning off the music and learning how to be with just me. Although I do still prefer to be with others, I've come to need some time to myself.

Naples' Duomo

4. Living In The Now
My life has always been planned. I love making plans and organizing, it's kind of a hobby. This semester I decided to put those plans on hold and just be. In doing this I've been able to fully experience what is happening here as opposed to in the future. I have an amazing internship this summer but I've learned how to be super excited for it but still remain present and excited about exactly what I am doing today. This semester is the most free I've ever felt because I truly live for the current moment as opposed to the upcoming ones.

First time I had been inside

5. Other's Thoughts
When I make a plan and tell others, I hate going back on it. I feel like I'm shattering people's view of me. This semester I realized I don't care what others think. When I return (home) I'm becoming vegan and I know most people will think that is weird, extreme, or simply not understand. I don't care. I wasn't accepted into the International Business program at USC. I've been saying for years that I'm an IB major but now I'm not. I don't care what others say about it. I usually don't go out on the weekends here and some say I'm lame, no fun, or are even disappointed in me. I don't care. I've realized I can change my mind, change my identity, and be who I want without having to worry for a second what others think.

6. A Changing Faith
I knew that my faith journey would be difficult over here. I would probably have few Christian friends, wouldn't be able to attend church regularly, and would lack a community. I feared that my faith would change or dwindle. And yet, God has not allowed that to happen but only strengthened my faith. My "fears" became realities but He's showed me how He's worked through that and continued to push me towards Him. A changing faith is nothing to fear. It's something to embrace.

I saw The Pope again!

There are many more ways I've grown in these past few months and there will be more changes to come. I can only blame Italy for it because if I didn't get over these things I would be paralyzed in my life here. Italy made me do it all.