With, For, In Love

How could they not tell me? The dozens of people I talked to before coming abroad about their experiences and no one said it. Maybe they didn't want to deter me. Maybe it wasn't the case for some people. Maybe it was just too sad to relive. No one told me leaving would suck this much. No one told me I'd fall this in love. No one told me I'd be this distraught. No one told me my heart would be in Rome. The tree I sit under to journal When I flew over here I remember sitting in my seat and looking out the window and thinking, "I guess I'm really doing it. Hope it all turns out okay!" I was terrified of basically everything and couldn't even believe that I had agreed and wanted to do this. Coming over I was scared. I mean who puts themselves on a plane to a different country where they know no one, don't speak the language, and are incapable of reading a map so good thing they have no cell data?! I guess I did. And it was the craziest and bes...

I sat awake at 6 am unable to go to sleep. I was crushed, sad, and so confused. But more than that, I felt like I didn't know who I was. Being away from everything that makes you you is really difficult. In Italy I don't have my friends, my family, my job, my normal activities, or even my city (shoutout to Cola). They're all waiting for me when I return but for four months I have had to figure out who I am apart from those things. That has not been easy. The time I ate 2 lbs. of strawberries in 2 hours I remember one night at USC talking to my friend outside of my apartment building and I was sharing all of the things I didn't like about myself. In that moment I realized one of the scariest things in life is to not like who you are because you are sort of stuck with yourself...for forever. That night I was placing my identity in my negative traits and characteristics instead of in the positive. Ever since that moment I've been working to not only change t...

My dad would always say everyone has a story. He told me that you never truly know what is happening with a person at any given moment. I will admit whole heartedly I never understood this concept and instead of listening and attempting to comprehend the stories, I would listen and "judge". I've been called a "judgmental person" more times than I can count. It stems from my religious beliefs and my understanding in an absolute truth that doesn't depend on the fickleness of humanity. I was always discouraged by being called judgmental and never wanted people to view me as that nor did I actually want to be that. However, these past few months I think my judgment has began to morph into a virtue: compassion. Best 20th Birthday ever This past week I was on spring break (aka the best week of my life!). I was fortunate enough to spend it with some of my brothers and close friends. It wasn't your typical crew together but that's what made it so ...

I realize the irony in this blog title. If it wasn't for school I would not be traveling like I am. But just keep reading.  There are 168 hours in a week. I spend 12.5 hours in a classroom. That is 7% of my week. 93% of my week is spent doing other things.And yet I am labeled as a student. That seems odd to be a student when my life is so much more. But if I must be a student, I've found that the student I want to be is not one of the classroom but one of the world. Just being casual in front of the Eiffel This weekend I was in Paris, a place I never realistically thought I would ever be. Yet there I was, walking under the Eiffel Tower, eating macaroons, and praying in Notre Dame. My favorite part of the trip besides the crepes was The Louvre. I didn't really know what it was before planning Paris but it is one of the largest and most extensive art museums in the world. It contains the Mona Lisa, Michelangelo statues and paintings, and other ridiculously famous w...

I was walking my parents to Piazza de Santa Maria and of course I got lost on the tiny Roman streets. I popped into a store and asked which way to go. When I walked out my mom said, "I'm so proud of you! You would never have done that before." And she was right. I'm very different now. But I blame it on Italy. I came to Italy for one main reason: I didn't want to go on living life afraid. I was ready to get over my fears and not hold back in life because I was scared. What I soon realized upon my arrival was that I would HAVE to get over my fears if I wanted to live here. There weren't many options. Below are some of my top fears I have conquered. Sims made for the best week ever 1. Public Transportation My biggest fear when coming here was the bus. I knew I would have to ride it to school but I had never ridden a bus before besides the one in the airport. How does it work? Where do I get off? Do I buy a ticket? The first day I slept, ate, and my ...

I remember sitting at my high school lunch table with my best friend Clarissa. I looked around at all of our classmates and everyone seemed to have a friend group. Clarissa and I had each other. That seems to have always been how I did friendship: never in a group, always with individuals. First friend My first friends here were these two girls who I asked to sit with in the cafeteria. From that moment on, we hung out and traveled together. I then met one of my closest friends here on the bus back from Ostia Antica where we laughed the whole time and bonded instantly. That same day I had the best lunch due to fantastic company. My two friends and I sat at a table of all guys. By the end of lunch we were crying laughing and having the greatest time. I knew I wouldn't be lonely here. Florence from the Bell Tower I live with a host family about 3 miles from my university. Although that isn't far, public transportation makes it about 30 minutes away. Unfortun...

Everyday on the way to school I pass a pyramid. At first I thought it was some replica just stuck in the middle of the street. Upon further research, I discovered it was actually a gift to Rome from Egypt. The pyramid became much cooler to me after learning that! 2004 Olympics were held in this stadium This weekend I went to Athens, Greece and I absolutely loved it. There's a whole host of reasons why I would move there tomorrow but one of the most amazing things about it are the ruins. Rome has fantastic ruins as well but the ones in Greece are mostly pagan and therefore have another layer of history I barely know about but am fascinated with. The ruins were gorgeous and I could have looked and walked around them for hours. As I was walking on the Acropolis where the Parthenon is, I began to wonder... View from the top If this is what they left behind, what would we leave behind? Athens at one point was one of the most important places in the world. Arguably, Amer...