100 Shredded Letters | DR

Imagine you wrote 100 letters at work. You stamped them, wrote down addresses, ensured all of the proper information was in them, sealed them, and sat them on your desk. You go in to work the next day and find all 100 letters are shredded. Everyday you have the potential of someone shredding your letters. That's how I feel in my internship.

Helping people is really hard. That sounds like a no brainer, especially when dealing with people who have undergone intense trauma at a young age. But the thing is, you see the vision of how you can help. You see how you can help them make their goals a reality. You understand how all of the resources you're offering fit in to their lives. But we work with people. And people are complicated.

The beauty in the everyday 

I've realized that working with happy people is much easier. They accept help that you give them. They are grateful. They thank you for spending time with them. Reality check: there are 7 billion people in this world but there are not 7 billion happy people. 783 million people don't have access to clean water. 2.5 billion people don't have sanitary living conditions. 1.6 billion people lack adequate housing. 30 million people are enslaved and sold for work or sex. 132 million children are orphans. There are a lot of unhappy people in this world. Many of whom need help and support.

Everyday I walk away from work wondering if anything I did made a difference. If anything I communicated stuck with them. When I come in to fights and drama it seems as though they've forgotten everything we've taught them. When girls say they will throw themselves over the fence to leave it seems like the hugs and love we give them don't matter. The only one who I know I'm for sure making an impact on is the two year old who has learned finally how to say my name in his little broken words. Everyday he runs up when I come in the gate and jumps in my arms before he's even off the patio. He trusts me to catch him, to love him, to give him his milk, to play trucks with him, to take him to church, to put on his shoes, and to protect him. He's easy to work with because he's two and all he wants is to give and receive love.

He loves making friends at church

I know that every job has bad days. Every job has bad weeks and months. It doesn't mean you should give up automatically. However, if you find yourself despising your job and waking up everyday dreading work, maybe you should rethink a career switch.

It's easier to love those who are ready to love you back. It's easier to work with those who want to be worked with. It's easier to serve when there's no drama, no trauma, and no hard circumstances. I'm learning that that idea just isn't the reality we have. To serve means to help those who can only see the moment in which they are in. To love means giving hugs and kisses in the morning when no one hugs you back. To work in the world means to do things that are hard.

                                                      Playing with Pinto was pretty easy

Working with these girls is very difficult. I've wanted to give up. I've been more mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausted than I ever have been before. Each day I take a risk. I make those 100 letters and I know they could be shredded the next day or even by that afternoon. But my hope is that one letter might stick around. Okay, maybe two.