Dear Men, I'm Not A Snake | DR

Dear Men,

Hello, I am a woman. Thank you for noticing. When I was walking down the street I forgot I was a woman so it was honestly very kind of you to remind me. I'm a pretty woman you say. Wow, thank you. In fact, for your kindness I'm going to drop everything and come over and talk to you immediately. You want my phone number? Here it is. You want to take me out? Let's go. I'm nothing but a woman desperately wanting to be noticed by every man on the street so thank you for fulfilling my deepest desires.

When I would walk down the streets in Costa Rica I often was called at. I discovered it had a little something to do with the fact that I was a gringa with blonde hair. A prize if you will. I could be walking alone, riding my bike, walking with my boyfriend, or walking with friends. It didn't matter. I was going to be called at. It wasn't a nice compliment or a simple hello. It was laden with alternative thoughts and motives. I never felt better after they called after me. I felt like I needed a shower. It actually got to a point where I walked around hunched over. That's disgraceful. I'm proud to be a woman and there should be no reason I would be ashamed of that. But the cat calls made me feel ashamed and like I was doing something wrong. I had people ride their bikes beside me, men lean as far out of their cars as possible, and people hiss at me. Excuse me, but I am not a snake.

This is a snake

Since being in the Dominican Republic, nothing really has changed. People have motos and instead of taxis you can hop on the back of one and pay for a ride somewhere. So naturally men are trying to get people's attention to give them a ride. But there's more than that. I was walking along the beach when a guy passed by and told me I was beautiful and had blonde hair. Yeah, I have blonde hair. Thank you for informing me. We were on a boat back to our house from an island when a man took off my sunglasses because he wanted to look in my eyes. He held my hand a bit too long and when I asked how he was he said super because he was in my presence. I felt extremely uncomfortable. You don't know me, stop that.

This is me...do I look like a snake to you? 

I don't know what men hope to achieve when cat calling or making these comments to girls or invading their personal space. Don't get me wrong, I love a good compliment. But these are not genuine. You know nothing about me. You don't think I'm pretty because you've barely even looked at me. All you see is a woman. Probably a foreigner. And someone with blonde hair. I've become a prize for you to obtain or someone to put your desires onto. Well, I'm sorry but I'm not having it. I'm not a snake to be hissed at or a dog to be called at. I'm a human being who demands respect, personal space, and the ability to walk down the street unashamed. If you'd like to chat, I'm happy to. Just don't start the conversation with something inappropriate. Have more respect for yourself than that.

As women we are told to just deal with it. Honestly, we probably deserved it anyway. I mean did you see what she was wearing, the way she walked, or the makeup she was wearing? Basically she was asking for it. You've got to be kidding me. "Boys will be boys," or whatever stupid saying someone came up with. We're told to be passive because we don't want to put ourselves in danger. We don't want to be rude or we think men will eventually learn. Well, who is teaching them other wise?

If you're not a man who does these things then thank you! But it's also your responsibility as a human to say something when street harassment is happening. Don't be passive simply because you're not the one instigating it. People should be given dignity and that dignity must be respected. We've all seen what happens when it's not. How about we start treating people like people. That'd be a novel concept.

Sincerely,

A Woman