With, For, In Love

How could they not tell me? The dozens of people I talked to before coming abroad about their experiences and no one said it. Maybe they didn't want to deter me. Maybe it wasn't the case for some people. Maybe it was just too sad to relive. No one told me leaving would suck this much. No one told me I'd fall this in love. No one told me I'd be this distraught. No one told me my heart would be in Rome. The tree I sit under to journal When I flew over here I remember sitting in my seat and looking out the window and thinking, "I guess I'm really doing it. Hope it all turns out okay!" I was terrified of basically everything and couldn't even believe that I had agreed and wanted to do this. Coming over I was scared. I mean who puts themselves on a plane to a different country where they know no one, don't speak the language, and are incapable of reading a map so good thing they have no cell data?! I guess I did. And it was the craziest and bes

I sat awake at 6 am unable to go to sleep. I was crushed, sad, and so confused. But more than that, I felt like I didn't know who I was. Being away from everything that makes you you is really difficult. In Italy I don't have my friends, my family, my job, my normal activities, or even my city (shoutout to Cola). They're all waiting for me when I return but for four months I have had to figure out who I am apart from those things. That has not been easy. The time I ate 2 lbs. of strawberries in 2 hours I remember one night at USC talking to my friend outside of my apartment building and I was sharing all of the things I didn't like about myself. In that moment I realized one of the scariest things in life is to not like who you are because you are sort of stuck with yourself...for forever. That night I was placing my identity in my negative traits and characteristics instead of in the positive. Ever since that moment I've been working to not only change t

My dad would always say everyone has a story. He told me that you never truly know what is happening with a person at any given moment. I will admit whole heartedly I never understood this concept and instead of listening and attempting to comprehend the stories, I would listen and "judge". I've been called a "judgmental person" more times than I can count. It stems from my religious beliefs and my understanding in an absolute truth that doesn't depend on the fickleness of humanity. I was always discouraged by being called judgmental and never wanted people to view me as that nor did I actually want to be that. However, these past few months I think my judgment has began to morph into a virtue: compassion. Best 20th Birthday ever This past week I was on spring break (aka the best week of my life!). I was fortunate enough to spend it with some of my brothers and close friends. It wasn't your typical crew together but that's what made it so