New: Me, Home, Job | Vietnam

"I just finished reading all of your blogs and now I'm really sad."

If this is also how you feel, then I'm really sorry. I never meant to make anyone sad. More importantly, I don't want to give the impression that I'm sad or I'm having a bad experience. Because truthfully, I'm not. I'm having an amazing experience.

I came to Vietnam to teach. I really deep down came to Vietnam because James (my boyfriend) wanted to come here and I thought it sounded adventurous and one day we could tell our kids "Back when we were in Nam".... People apparently made bets on how long I'd last. Which to their credit is fair and I probably would have thought I'd be tired of it by now like I was in Costa Rica. What I found in Costa Rica that kept me there was James. What I found in Vietnam was myself (Original I know).

Vietnam hasn't been about the food, the culture, or the people. Although I'm gearing up to write some lengthy and detailed posts about these when I leave the country. I didn't come here for any of that.

What I did come here was to be challenged and I have been. I've had to face good and bad parts of myself and get very frank on who I was and if I liked that person. Have you ever had to do that? It's actually quite scary. Some days I did and some days I didn't. Vietnam has given me the time and space to figure out who I am, what I want, and how I can do that.

The most characteristic and uncharacteristic thing I've done since being here was quit my teaching job. Since December 22, 2017 at 11:01 AM I became self-employed. I started my own business November 1st called Wellness With Alexis! I'm a plant based and holistic health & wellness coach. I help people live their ideal healthy lives in a simple, realistic, and sustainable way. It took me 22 years to finally do something I found meaningful that was my own.

Since I was little I loved selling things and making big grand ideas (tie dye t-shirt, lemonade, books, lemon poppy seed cakes, you name it I was selling it and making a business). I always stopped myself from doing something really important because I feared it wouldn't be good enough. It wouldn't be big enough. It wouldn't be "Oprah sized". And I wanted to be Oprah. I still do. But that's besides the point.

I wanted to make a huge positive impact on the world and everything I came up with was too small and I knew I was made for something bigger. So I did nothing at all. That meant I didn't make an impact. I understood the logic but couldn't get over my fear. It wasn't until two other people at my work were quitting that I began to reevaluate my life. Did I like my job? Did I like working on the side in my business? Would I ever take the leap? The answer was no, no, and no (unless I did it right now).

My dad recently asked me, "Alexis, you started your business with no budget, registering your name, and no business essentials set up. What were you thinking?" I wasn't. I was finally just doing. Doing what I wanted with no input from anyone else. It's been the most liberating and terrifying thing I've ever done.

I do not have everything figured out. Everyday I'm growing and improving. I'm now full time in my business and I'm reclaiming my self care time and control over my life. I've never been happier (okay, maybe I was happier in Rome but that's because I'm obsessed with Italy). Yet, I don't have many of the things I miss. My best friend here has gone back to the States because of a sick family member. It is so freaking polluted outside it's grey everyday and I haven't seen the sun in weeks. My family is still 12 hours away even though I got to see them over Christmas which was the biggest blessing ever.

But now I have something that is my own that is helping improve the world one person at a time. I'm learning the value of helping the one. I'm learning the value of caring for yourself with sleep, food, exercise, and books. I'm learning how to run a successful business. I'm learning how to spread the message of all the things I love in a way that resonates with people and spurs them to action. I'm learning to love myself where I am but never become complacent and always strive for more for myself, others, my business, and the world.

This is all to say that hello, I'm alive. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I'm doing what I love everyday. I'm crying, panicking, journaling, reading, working out, working at cafes, meditating, finding peace, learning to be more gentle and patient, and continually discovering who Alexis is today.

Vietnam is many things. To me it's become my home where I discovered it was okay to be and time to be myself.