One Night In Bangkok: Nothing Happens

I think I've confused people in the past with my honesty regarding my travels. If I've had a hard day or even a hard week I want to share that. Not because I need to get something off my chest but because I don't want people to feel alone in their feelings regarding traveling. Traveling can be soul filling, joyful, and the greatest adventure of your life but it can also be lonely, sad, and really hard at times. So when I'm honest I'm not saying I hate a certain place like Vietnam or that the whole experience is negative but these are my real feelings that I refuse to sugar coat so you too don't feel alone or falsely believe my life is some fairytale. So here are my feelings.

This past weekend I went on a visa run to Bangkok, Thailand. Cue all of the thoughts about Hangover 2, One Night In Bangkok, and the Asian equivalent of Vegas. Well, that wasn't even remotely close to my experience. And trust me, it wasn't for a lack of trying. I tried so hard but all I could find was a sports bar and sketchy drug dealers on one street. But nonetheless I had a very beautiful experience in this city of theoretical craziness that I'm convinced is really a myth perpetuated by the media. Fake news!

The first night we arrived around midnight. The taxi ride was over an hour because our Airbnb was down a million tiny alleys and our driver had no idea where to go. Apparently, they don't want to offend anyone and so they refuse to say no to someone. Cab drivers will often take you somewhere even if they're unsure where to go because they don't want to be rude. I mean that's nice and all but I'd rather you just tell me no. Upon arrival, I discovered our Airbnb sucked and had a really hard bed and a bathroom outside! Really bringing me back to my days in Costa Rica. We decided to go explore and not wallow in our situation as we saw people outside and street vendors still open. To my delight we found dry fish, cooked fish, and fish in the form of balls. Yum. Needless to say I didn't eat anything. I was really pissed that night and it took me a while to figure out why. Surprisingly, it wasn't that I was angry at the terrible Airbnb which looked nothing like the pictures or that there was no edible food for me in sight but it was that I couldn't communicate. With anyone. If there's one problem I have with Asia it's that I can't communicate with 95% of people and that's honestly just really frustrating and debilitating. Thai looks like a bunch of scribbles to me and sounds sort of like Vietnamese which obviously I don't know anyway so that's no help. Communicating with someone is difficult and I couldn't read how much something cost, what they were selling, or what any of the addresses were. I was experiencing culture shock and that just made me really mad. I went to sleep upset and woke up upset because the bed was so hard that I then had a headache. I decided to call the only person I knew who would understand for he is the biggest hotel snob I know: my father. Of course he was sympathetic and put us up in the fanciest hotel he could find on his Hilton points. Needless to say that significantly improved the quality of my trip. It was quite luxurious so thank you Dad for always sympathizing when you're staying in a crappy place.

I didn't really get over my culture shock but I did become less angry about it. I forget how much I take for granted my ability to speak English and to have lived in a country that speaks, reads, and writes in my native language. All I want to know is what a building says. Is that so much to ask?

Usually I like to keep an order to my blogs so you and I are not confused about what I'm trying to convey. But there's no real point to this blog. It's just a way to express the things I felt on this trip that have stuck with me. So I apologize if you're confused or missing my usually eloquent pieces of art (ha!)

First of all, Bangkok being a crazy city is fake. We decided to go out one night and take the sky train to explore. Do you know what we found? A city that was BLACK. Literally, all of the lights were out on one of the places we stopped. I'd never seen anything like it. We thought, "Okay maybe it's not the most popping area so we'll go to a place with hostels around. Surely they have to have something." Uh, no. We found one bar that was out of everything except for a 3L tower of one kind of beer. They didn't even have french fries. Sad! The next night we wanted to find this speakeasy. We researched it on google and knew how to get there and what to do to get in. But low and behold we couldn't find it. Maybe that's why it was a speakeasy. We would have made terrible cops in the 1920's. Boardwalk Empire would have been disappointed in us. And we were disappointed in ourselves. So we walked around and all we could find were sports bars, sketchy drug dealers, and prostitutes who may or may not have been lady boys because dang if it isn't hard to tell who's a real woman in Thailand.

Speaking of which I have to admit we did go to a cabaret show. It was the closest thing we had to a wild time out and to being in the 1920s. However, it was very classy and tame. The show did have men, women, and lady boys. Who, I have to be honest here, are just confusing to me. It's totally cool in Thailand but like I have a million questions about it. Who are they? Do they just dress up for work? Are they enslaved? Do they want to do this? Do they identify as a man or woman? Why Thailand? Besides all of my questions I was just confused who was a man or woman and how the lady boys managed to look so pretty.

Along with my set of questions on ladyboys, I realized that another concept I know so little about is Buddhism. I'm not even remotely educated enough in the topic to have a factually accurate or deep conversation on the religion. However, I noticed a huge difference in the sacredness and reverence for Buddha in Thailand versus in Vietnam. There were Buddhas everywhere and temples (or wats and they're architecturally stunning) dedicated to him whereas in Vietnam you essentially see the worship of ancestors in temples. I realized that I have no real clue what Buddhists believe. I also don't know what makes one person an active believer while another person is one of those back pocket religious types. It makes me sad that I don't know enough and therefore I'm missing out on a large part of culture here in Asia. I think it's important to stay firm in what you believe but I think it's important to recognize that there are other religions and believers out there. And not recognize them for the sake of attacking them or trying to convert them but recognizing them because they exist as human beings trying to figure out this complicated thing we call life.

I also realized that knowing a little information about a place transforms it. I'd like to say living with no data and basically no use for a cell phone besides taking pictures is freeing but I found it rather debilitating. There is so much to see and do in Thailand that not having access to wifi while out really inhibits you from having as full of an experience as possible. I know you may think why not just ask a local. I don't know, maybe because they speak Thai...

Once we discovered our hotel was on a river that had boat taxis for less than $2 we immediately were able to see so much more than when we were driving around for an hour in a $10 taxi to get to one market. We saw the reclining Buddha, beautiful Wats, and the King's Palace which we refused to pay $15 to see but I have a picture of it so I'm going to say I went. In one day we were able to see more than was possible in three days with taxis and it brought the city to life. We were also able to see two of my friends and brothers from the States. There's something really unique and special about seeing people you know from home in foreign countries, especially when you don't have many friends in your new country. Your friendship suddenly becomes something you really value and appreciate because even for just a moment it makes you feel like you're at home.

The most important realization I had in Thailand was why I love to travel in the first place. Going and being a complete tourist in a place is rejuvenating and refreshing for me. It allows me to become someone new each time. I see things for the first time. I experience unknown situations. I grow to someone hopefully better than before I came. It makes me question everything and wonder what I'm doing with my life. It makes me feel whole and happy. It's really freaking hard sometimes and occasionally you just want to go back to your home like I did the first night. But through it all I grow. To me that's worth every penny, every tear, and every language barrier. So thank you Thailand for showing me that fake news is real and that I can be awakened anywhere I go.