Well, tell me about it! | Mexico

Tears continuously flowed down my face as I stood in the airport waiting for my ticket. My parents were with me which usually would have made me feel comforted. However, my tears were not because of anxiety but rather I was crying because of a deep internal pain. I was leaving Mexico, my internship had come to an end. I felt like someone was ripping the most precious object out of my hand and there was nothing I could do but watch.

I sulked the entire way home and stepping foot in America intensified the pain even more. I wanted to run back, to continue serving, to be with those I had fallen in love with. Upon my return I have been asked countless times, "How was it?" How was it?! Life changing. Soul altering. Perfectly joyous. Calming and beautiful. It was communion with God. Words can not express the overflowing joy and passion I was given during that month.

He's 2, an orphan, a soccer player, and has captured my heart.

"I think the biggest translation of this life to back home is going to be living for God and His purpose as opposed to living for myself." Each night I reflected on the day and the wondrous things I had seen and done. I still have not written the Day 30 entry because that would just make it too real.

In Cancun, I lived for others. I woke up, helped the group make breakfast, spent time with God, prepped for the day, did work projects and played with orphans, ate dinner, worshipped, and spent the rest of the night in community with each other. Life was full, exhausting, and purposeful.

Leaving Mexico was soul crushing. Not because I had to go home, but because I could no longer be living a fully perfect life. Life at home is radically different than life serving widows and orphans. But it doesn't mean I can't carry that radical love with me. It still terrifies me because I don't know what He wants me to do, what my action step is. I fear a lack of purpose, of distance from Christ, of serving myself rather than others. But here is a promise I have been clinging to for dear life: God does not change and He never will. The work He did there He will do here. He will continue to use me and use you to further His kingdom. He is I am.

But how much can one person really learn in a month? Well, a lot! Each day God showed me 5 or more new things about myself, Himself, and others. I learned to have patience, to serve even when I don't want to, to put my desires aside, to spend time with Christ, to worship with every step I took, to dance with widows, to make orphans smile, to preach the Gospel, to question my faith, to put technology away, to have deeper conversations, to not live shallowly, to be a Christ follower, to be a part of something far greater than myself. I learned that our lives are examples of hope, love, and light. Listen to me; your life matters. Your life is influential. Your life can change everything.

His smile and laugh are contagious.

There was one custom in Mexico I fell in love with. We celebrated over 6 birthdays in June and most of them were for girls. When it's a girl's birthday, she is treated like a princess. She gets special treatment all day and is given crowns, presents, and an abundance of love. I feel like a birthday girl. I feel so humbled and grateful that I am The Father's princess who will one day inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. I also feel so blessed to have an overflowing abundance of love from all of you. Thank you for supporting, loving, and praying for me.

My month in Mexico is over. My life, love, and faith are not. For the God of angel armies is always by my side.

Maria is one of the first friends I made.